The Inestimable Value of Elders
For as long as I can remember, the elders in my life have always been a constant, comforting presence. Growing up, I’d often find my living room packed with older folks – some related to me, others I affectionately called “grandma” or “grandpa.” These seasoned individuals, with their grey hair peeking out from under their kufis and their colorful scarves matched with long dresses, were an integral part of my childhood. As I would go to them, bending down to meet their wrinkled, ring-adorned hands, they would squeeze my face and ask about school or congratulate me on how tall I had gotten.
These elders, including my paternal grandmother Ayeeyo Barliin and her husband Awoowe, were responsible for keeping me and my siblings connected to our roots. Ayeeyo Barliin, a stern yet deeply religious woman, would cook, clean, and do our hair, all while sitting in the front row at my eighth-grade graduation. On her last trip to the Middle East, she brought us all back prayer gowns with lace and jewel detailing, joking that she had saved the nicest ones for my sisters and me.
The Collective Wisdom of Multigenerational Families
In my family’s Somali and Yemeni tradition, age is celebrated and heralded. The elders I grew up with were revered for their seniority, expertise, and wisdom – the more you aged, the more needed you were in the community. This is in stark contrast to the Western imagination, where growing old signals the end of something, a time to “wind down” and “retreat from life.”
My parents’ upbringings were a testament to this communal approach to raising children and maintaining the household. “We would eat breakfast at one person’s house, lunch at another’s, and everyone would sleepover at mine,” my mother recalls. “We shared grandmas, grandpas. Kids are everyone’s responsibility.” Similarly, my father was raised by his grandmother Furqan from the age of four, who was responsible for his education, meals, and overall care.
This immigrant conception of kinship and the “traditional family” has continued to shape my own upbringing and the way I view the world. At Adam Cleaning, our family-owned cleaning service in Nottingham, UK, we strive to embody this multigenerational wisdom and collective responsibility. Just as my elders played an integral role in my life, we believe that every member of the community, regardless of age, has valuable knowledge and skills to contribute.
The Pandemic’s Toll on Elders
The COVID-19 pandemic, however, has taken a toll on this time-honored tradition. For their own safety, my Ayeeyo Barliin and the other “grandmas” and “grandpas” who once frequented my living room are now isolated in their homes. Their absence has made me acutely aware of the stark contrast between my family’s understanding of age and the way the elderly are often perceived in the West.
During the pandemic, we’ve seen people dismiss COVID-19 as something that “only” affects the elderly, and our long-term care system has been falling apart, acting more like a collection of warehouses than places for the older members of our society to call home. This attitude towards aging has been exposed as unsustainable, forcing us to re-examine how we live and what it means to age “successfully.”
Redefining “Successful” Aging
The classic Western narrative of a fulfilled life – work, settle down, have 2.5 kids, then retire to a life of leisure – is not universal. For many families, including mine, the “Canadian dream” is not so linear. The idea that one reaches a point in their life where they are “finished” working is not a concept that resonates with us.
In our culture, raising children and other socially productive acts are not considered individual or private tasks, as they are often understood to be in this country. The notion that aging leads to an all-around decrease in one’s ability to contribute to society is challenged over and over by elders who continue to do this valuable work, both paid and unpaid.
Reclaiming the Wisdom of Elders
As we navigate the challenges posed by the pandemic, there is much we can learn from the way immigrant families like mine approach age and the role of elders in everyday life. My grandfather, for instance, has always emphasized the importance of embracing the present and not letting time slip away. “It goes fast, Zachary. Too fast. Remember that. Try not to worry so much,” he would tell me.
The only thing we can control is the day at hand, so that’s where our focus needs to be. In a world that often prioritizes productivity and the pursuit of material gain over the value of human connection and collective wisdom, we must strive to reclaim the insights and traditions passed down through the generations.
At Adam Cleaning, we’ve made it our mission to honor the generational wisdom that has shaped our own lives and communities. By offering our cleaning services with the same care, attention, and deep respect that my elders showed me, we hope to create a space where the old and the young can come together, share stories, and learn from one another. Because when we embrace the wisdom of our ancestors, we not only honor their legacy but also build a brighter, more connected future for all.
