Sometimes, mom really is right. When my husband and I moved into our charming old Victorian, my mother shook her head and warned us – we’d spend all our time cleaning and never actually enjoy the house. Being the stubborn, independent types, we laughed it off. After all, we had just downsized from a tiny 900-square-foot home that took us just 20 minutes to clean. How hard could this big, beautiful place be?
Well, it turns out dear old mom was spot on. Within weeks, I was privately admitting she was right. And within months, I was openly complaining about how much time it took to maintain our new home.
We tried all the tricks – dividing the work into daily or weekly tasks, using checklists and apps to stay organized, even designating a “cleaning weekend” to blitz through it all. But no matter what we did, there was always more to be done. The house was in a constant state of needing attention, and it was driving me crazy.
As a freelance writer and Airbnb host, I was already working from home. So I couldn’t just leave the mess behind when I went to the office. Instead, I’d find myself staring at the dirty dishes and towering piles of laundry all day, feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and unable to focus on my work. Or I’d try to squeeze in the chores myself, which meant wasting precious work hours on mundane tasks.
Something had to give. And after a lot of internal debate, I realized we needed to bring in professional help.
The Mental Gymnastics of Hiring a Cleaner
At first, the idea of hiring a house cleaner made me feel incredibly guilty. What would people think? I came from a working-class background where my own mom had cleaned houses to make ends meet. Weren’t we supposed to be able to take care of our own home?
But as Harvard Business School professor Ashley Whillans explains, that guilty feeling is actually pretty common. Her research has shown that while spending money to save time makes people significantly happier, very few people are actually willing to do it.
“Blame that nagging guilty feeling,” Whillans says. “In ongoing research, we find that guilt really does undermine consumer likelihood of buying time – and the benefit you get from buying it.”
Another factor is that time feels more abstract and less tangible than money. It takes some mental gymnastics to justify spending a concrete resource (money) to save a more nebulous one (time). We always think we’ll have more time tomorrow than today, but that money is equally valuable anytime.
Despite the guilt, I just couldn’t shake the siren call of having some help. So my husband and I decided to take the plunge and hire a cleaner.
The Life-Changing Impact of a Clean Home
The transformation was almost immediate. After that first cleaning, I took a look around at the gleaming floors, polished furniture, and spotless kitchen counter – all areas that had previously been cloaked in a permanent layer of dust. And suddenly, I could draw an easy breath.
I didn’t realize just how much the constant state of mess had been stressing me out until that worry was lifted. Now, instead of fretting about the impossibility of ever catching up, I could simply shake off the occasional toothpaste splatter or stray dog hair. My cleaner, M, would handle it all on Friday mornings, leaving me free to focus on my work and enjoying my home.
My husband and I also fell into a much easier routine of keeping things picked up during the week. We make sure the house is clutter-free and ready for M‘s arrival, and then she takes care of the heavy lifting. That schedule and division of labor has been a game-changer, drastically reducing the arguments we used to have about who does what.
As professional organizer Ellen Delap explains, hiring outside help is all about building a team. “Whether it’s sending out laundry, hiring an organizer or cleaner, or using meal prep plans, you’re just enlarging your team and freeing your time to do what you do best,” she says.
And what I do best is the work I love – writing, reporting, and sharing stories. With several hours a week freed up from cleaning, not to mention a great deal more mental space, I’ve been able to be busier than ever in a good way.
Adam Cleaning has been an invaluable addition to our team, allowing me to focus on my career while also enjoying a healthier, happier home life.
The Financial Considerations
Of course, bringing in professional help does come with a financial impact. But as Delap points out, for those of us who are self-employed or have variable incomes, the calculation isn’t as straightforward as it might be for someone with a traditional job and steady paycheck.
The key is to do the math – figure out your hourly rate, how long it would take you to do the cleaning yourself, and whether it’s ultimately cheaper to hire someone. For me, even though M and I may make similar per-hour rates, the value I get from having those extra hours to devote to my work far outweighs the cost.
Financial advisor Luke Meador suggests asking yourself a few key questions: “What is your rate? How long would it take you to do the job? Is it cheaper to hire someone than to do it yourself?”
For people like me who don’t have a steady paycheck, those are important considerations. But the peace of mind I feel when M leaves on Fridays, knowing the house is clean and I don’t have to spend my weekend scrubbing and mopping, is priceless.
Sharing the Secret
At first, I felt a bit sheepish about admitting we’d hired a cleaner. I was worried about what people might think – that we were somehow “fancy” or above doing our own housework.
But then I realized, why should I feel guilty? Hiring M has been such a game-changer for our family that I couldn’t keep it to myself. I started singing her praises to my local friends, offering to provide her contact information.
Turns out, I wasn’t the only one struggling with the demands of an old house. My friends were just as excited about the prospect of having some help, and M soon had several new clients. In fact, she’s now set a timeline for leaving her day job to pursue her cleaning business full-time.
So while my mom may have been right about the time-consuming nature of our Victorian, thanks to the new member of our team, my husband and I are finally able to actually enjoy our beautiful home. The guilt I felt has been replaced by immense gratitude – for M, for my mom’s sage advice, and for the healthier, happier household we’ve been able to create.
